Week 6...at a stand still

Well wightloss has come to a stand still. I gained back 2lbs now that I am feeling better. Which I assumed would happen. Last Friday night I had to go to the emergency room, I had started into anaphalactic shock due to the antibiotics I had been on. I then became a zombie due to the allergy meds they prescribed so I hardly ate anything.
I realize I bitch and moan regularly about my body and weight but to be honest I can't complain. I have lost over 35lbs since having my daughter and I haven't really tried. I don't work out, I don't diet, I only lowered my sugar intake by a smidge. I can only imagine how I would look and feel if I actually got off my lazy ass and worked out. Hahaha. I suppose I need to further motivate myself and find out.

Week 6 July 15- Weight 147- 2lbs gained

Week 5...still losing.

Still losing in week 5. My tolerance to sweets has dropped a lot. And being sick, I am sure has had some to do with my weight loss.

Week 5 July 9- Weight 145-1.5lbs

Week 4

Week 4 was a struggle but I managed to lose 1lb. Not good but still a loss.

Week 4 July 2-Weight 146.5-1lbs lost

Week 3 of Weight Loss...

Well the last week it was a little harder to stay on track. But, I am trying so hard. I have lost even more weight. I wish sweets never existed it would make this so much easier lol. I guess I just have to have more self control.

Week 3-June 25th-147.5 lbs-2.5lbs lost

A little late but Week 2 of Weight loss update...

I weighed in June 16th, and believe it or not I have lost weight. Down 3lbs. Not a lot but every bit counts. I have had one soda each week because I forgot about the intense caffine withdrawls and got massive headaches but other than that I have not allowed myself to cheat.

Week 2-June 16th-Weight 150lbs-3lbs lost

Motivating Myself...

I am going to put myself on blast, in hopes that it motivates me. I desperately want to lose 20lbs. I am 8.5 months post baby and have stopped losing weight. At my final appointment before delivery I weighed in at 183 lbs and as of March was down 41 lbs, I have since gained back 11. I don't want to lose the weight to be "hotter", I want to be in better shape. I am 5'5" and have a curvy body, which I love, so I don't expect to look like a model. I'll settle for a better version of myself.
 I have just cut out soda as of Tuesday and am doind pretty well, I am cooking more meals at home and intend on being more active this month. With a little luck I am hoping that by posting about my weight it will hold me accountable to lose it. I am going to try to  post every saturday about my progress or lack there of. I will post my weight every week and as well as lbs lost of gained. Lord, let this work.

Week 1-June 9, 2012-Weight 153 lbs

He.

There are days when I feel incredibly alone. I could be surrounded by people but still feel so lonely. No one around can grasp whats going on behind these eyes, in my mind. But the second he texts me, I feel complete. Completely understood, completely me, completely happy. Even when we fight/argue it always comes back to: is this worth it? after all we've been through. And we laugh and get over whatever it is that upset us to begin with. No man has ever made me feel this way and I wouldn't change a thing. I am a better me because of him. And if I had to wait forever, I would.

Life as I know it...

My life as I know it...
Is crazy. It's upside down and inside out.
Is amazing. It's beautiful from every angle.

I am sure most people in my situation wouldn't see it that way.
And I believe that those people are the ones to worry about.
I believe in fate. I believe that everything happens for a reason.
And I believe in being nothing but happy.
Not that I always succeed at it. But I always try.

Starting over...kinda...

So I heard a song today that reminded me why I started this blog. I started this blog so that I had a way to vent about my life. All the ups and downs past present. I have been writitng about things that are happening now, that are important in my life but I feel like I have been writing more of what I think readers would want to hear or would be interested in. But not anymore. From now on I am writing about what I want to write about and if you don't like it or enjoy it, don't read it.

No more waiting...

    I have been crazy excited for weeks now, awaiting the arrival of my best friend from Afghanistan. It has seemed like he has been deployed forever now but the last couple weeks seemed like the longest. I knew he was coming home in mid January so the wait was excruciating. What day? What time? I hope I can get off work to meet him at the airport. So many things on my mind. Well I am happy to say the wait is over. :)

    Tracy Stevens arrived safely in Boise, ID late last night. I have honestly never been so happy to see someones face as I was to see his. It is one thing to be seperated from a friend but another to be seperated from the person you're closest too. I can't explain how happy I am that he is home. Love that guy so so much.

Missing My 4 Legged Best Friend...

Koda Bear...
The best friend I ever had...
Could always make me smile and laugh...
And comforted me in times of need.
I miss my puppy.

I miss the companionship of having dog. That special bond you share with them. And I have considered getting another one but everytime I consider it, I realize it will never compare to Koda. I don't think it would be fair to puppy at this point for me to constantly compare it to my old dog. Maybe one day when Aubrey is a little older we will get a puppy and she can know the bond between and owner and their dog.

Thank you 2011 for all the memories...

 I’m not sure that any year will compare to 2011, however, I’m not shutting the possibility out. 2011 was full of the unexpected, loaded with firsts, and entirely unforgettable.  There were so many ups and downs and in between moments, every one worthwhile in their own way.  So here is an over view of the good and bad, the happy and sad, and everything in between.

I was reminiscing on the last 5 years of my life in January of 2011 and took it upon myself to make a huge change in my life. Most people who knew me knew I was a “party” girl. I went out, drank too much, and made an ass of myself. I never had an alcohol problem but I drank socially, I was socializing with the wrong crowd. So I quit partying. I quit drinking hard alcohol and beer. I now only, on special occasions, have 1-2 glasses of wine or champagne with dinner.  I don’t see the point in drinking yourself into a stupor. And when the night is over what do you have to show for yourself, a headache in the morning?

With that abrupt lifestyle change came another huge one. I needed to change the people I socialized with. So I left the ones who stirred up drama and mayhem. As crazy as it sounds I actually moved out of my home, changed my number, and had to delete and block them from my social networking profile. Simply telling them I no longer wanted to be friends was not good enough. But along with ridding myself of toxic friends, I learned who my true friends were and even picked some new ones up along the way. Reuniting with old friends and meeting new ones has been incredible. I couldn’t ask for better friends now.

In February of 2011, the 10^th to be exact, I found out I was pregnant. Not expected or planned in any way but I wouldn’t take it back if I could. I was 8 weeks along and terrified. This was going to be a long 9 months. I was due September 28^th. The entire idea of pregnancy was terrifying to me; carrying a life inside me, gaining weight, giving birth, and being a mom. Not that I thought I wouldn’t be a good mom but I wasn’t ready to be a mom, so I thought. But to my surprise those 9 months were some of the best months I have had. I had never been healthier and felt better in my entire life.

The pregnancy took up most of my year. Preparing myself and my life for a baby was pretty demanding. I found out I was having a girl. Oh geez! A miniature me. I knew right then I was in for a world of trouble. 9 months came and went faster than it ever had before and on September 22^nd at 12:05am I gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl. Aubrey Sky Knarr weighing in at 5lbs 140z and 20 inches long. She was perfect in every way. There is absolutely nothing to complain about. I had the easiest pregnancy and I have the best baby. She has remained on the same sleep schedule since the womb and is healthy and growing too fast.  She sleeps all through the night with one dream feeding at 4:00 am. She has filled the last 3 months of 2011 with so many wonderful moments.

The only complaint I have about the entire year is that my best friend has been deployed for the majority of it. He doesn’t know this but he actually inspired the changes I have made this last year. And he has unknowingly made me into a much better person. Despite the distance we are closer than ever. But I do miss him like crazy. There are so many times I think about how much better it would be if he was here. But I am so proud of what he does, the long hours and hard work he puts in makes me so grateful not only to him but to all our troops. I cannot wait to see him when he comes home.

All in all, I would say 2011 was the best year yet. So thank you, 2011 for being amazing. Here is to the unforgettable moments, the unlikely friendships, the unbreakable bonds and all the little things that helped make it such a remarkable year. And to the birth of my daughter which has shaped and changed my life forever. I cannot wait to see what 2012 has in store.